So, the NYTimes Magazine ran their Inauguration Issue this past Sunday, and in it they profiled all of "Obama's People." Sounds good, right? Wrong. Most of the poor bastards look like they're getting their DUI pics snapped after a Beltway happy hour gone seriously awry. Don't you bitches know you're supposed to smile for that shit?
What the hell was the photographer thinking? I mean, maybe I get it. According to my own scientific calculations most of the country is roughly two months of economic fuckery away from fighting over roadkill in the streets, so perhaps the message is "we're all trying to be serious and businessy here." But to tell a girl she's getting photographed for the NYT Magazine, and then have it come out looking like she just got off the 3 am shift at the Waffle House just seems unnecessarily cruel. Hm...Waffle House. Focus!
See for yourself: http://www.nytimes.com/packages/html/magazine/2009-inauguration-gallery/index.html
All I'm saying is that if I were Christina D. Romer, Samantha Power or Ellen Moran, that photographer would have a libel suit on her hands.
The hot piece of dark chocolate sex pictured above, however, is more like it. Ladies, meet Reggie Love. I swear to Jesus, that's seriously his name. The 26-year-old Duke grad is President Obama's "Personal Aid" and I LOVE him (get it?). The picture here with "Dear Leader," as my token Republican friend likes to call Obama, does not do him justice. Somehow he convinced the glaucoma ridden NYT photographer not to salt his game, so follow the link to see the real deal.
This is what I think of when I picture an Obama administration. Is that racist? I mean hot, not black. Whatever. I just know that they can tax the government cheese out of my $17,000/year to pay White House salaries if this is any indication of how they plan to roll. Duke basketball and football? You have my attention, Obama administration. Ask not what your country can do for you--ask what you can do for your country. Right now I can tell you about 18 NSFW things I would like to do for my country involving this gentleman. HEEEYYY!!
And it gets better. Leaving aside the fact that he's 6'5" and an AID TO THE PRESIDENT, my favorite thing about Reggie is that while at Duke, he got so shitfaced at a frat party one evening that he passed out and got teabagged by some moron, who should probably be watching his back right now. Hot tip of the day: If you're going to teabag someone, don't make it a 6'5" football/basketball star with serious connections to the leader of the free world. Enjoy Guantanamo, fucker.
Reggie, if you're reading this, and I'm sure you are, CALL ME!
Read the teabagging story and see the pictures here: http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/05/the_alleged_teabagging_of_reggie_love
Ha, good call about the shitty photos. What the fuck was with the lighting, everyone's eyes looked like Ron Howard's freak ass daughter. Here are some of my favorites:
ReplyDeleteChristina Romer - I can't decide if she looks more like Janet Reno's spunky, but troublemaking, little sister or Lindsey Lohan's creepy drunk uncle. Either way bitch is coyote ugly (as in someone should chew their arm off and beat her with it till shes pretty)
Mark Lippert - I had weird mixed feelings about this guy. At first I was freaked out because he looks like an undertaker who has probably had sex with some of his clients, and then I started imagining myself as one of the clients. So at the end of the day the bottom line is I would probably let him hit it, but I would draw the line at getting into an ice bath before we did it.
Diseree Rogers - Probably the person on the staff I would be closest with (that Clinton bitch won't return my calls). She knows that this picture is not going to turn out good, and she is about to slap the shit out of the photographer. "Nobody puts Diseree on a fucking tore up stool" she screached before charging the photographer.
Melody Barnes - Whitney made a come back and nobody told me.
Jon Favreau - Yum!
Lets play "Find the Fag" there must be at least one in there.
Love
Poodle
They don't smile, because most Dems are angry people. They get angry if you don't march in goosestep with what they believe. They get angry and usually indignant when others' core beliefs are in contrast to their beliefs. They are like evangelicals in that they always preach the gospel of FDR and JFK and don't get the hint when no one opens the door on Saturday mornings.
ReplyDeleteNice Blog Teener, to bad you're such a pinko!!! Have you gotten on the Obama ditch digger line yet? Kisses
Love Carlos
Aaaahahaha. Mark Lipert definitely looks like he would chain you to the radiator and make you call him Tina. As for the homo hunt, my money's on Eugene Kang. I bet that book he's reading is really an old issue of Bears and Cubs Quarterly. I'll also throw out Jim Messina, because he looks like he's wearing some 50% off bin Walgreens lipstick.
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